Are you facing failure?

Are you uncertain? Are you afraid of the future? Good. God is stretching you. Are you trusting him? Do you even really know what that means? Is your situation impossible?

Are you feeling like a failure? Good. God is stretching you. Are you a failure? Good. God is bringing you to peace.

I have gotten so caught up in my fears. What if I become a failure? What if I lose all my money and end up ruining my life? GOOD! Then I will finally know what it means to trust God.

I don't understand why things happen the way they do. But I do know that my faith in God does not rely on my inability. In other words, when I screw things up, my faith in God only grows. I trust God more after my failure is exposed than I ever did before.

Are you facing failure? Good. God is helping you to trust him.

Failure is only the predecessor to success. Keep your trust in God. He will eventually bring peace. Trust that.

As for your failure, it will pass. Remember that true happiness does not come with success but rather with a heart that obeys God.

Learning

I am learning that trust affects everything that a person does, feels, and thinks.

I am learning that love is harder to do than I originally thought.

I am learning that life is never simple.

I am learning that this Jesus thing might stretch me to my limits.

I am learning that I'm in way over my head in so many areas of my life.

I am learning that it is impossible to go through life not relying on anybody.

I am learning that comfort is rarely good.

I am learning that the past will never really go away.

I am learning that diapers are not very comfortable... haha just kidding :)

I am learning that age does not prescribe wisdom.

I am learning that many of the hardest things to deal with are internal.

These are just some of the things I've been learning in the past summer and beginning of Fall. Maybe I'll write more later, when I learn something else :)

I think I'm weird.

Really, some of you may not believe it, but I think I am just a little bit strange. Just a little bit different. I think differently than other people, I believe.

I don't know, other people seem so excited about what God is going to do through them. They'll say things like, "I know God is going to do amazing things through me." Even if they have no idea what that is, they get excited about it. Honestly, I sometimes question whether people are actually excited for the sake of God's glory or if they're excited because they just want to feel like they're worth something.

I guess both of those things are good. I just can't bring myself to get excited about something God is going to do through me. I feel like if I ever tried to do anything, even if God is "doing it through me," I'll somehow get in the way and screw it all up.

Please don't take this as low self-esteem. It really isn't. I'm just aware that God is perfect and I can never do anything with that amount of perfection.

I'm not saying that it's wrong to get excited about "God doing amazing things" through you. But here's the idea I feel is associated with that: "People will look at my life and see that God used me to do great things." That seems so me-centered. Nothing is supposed to be about you, it's supposed to be about the great things God has done.

Here is what I get excited about: "People will see what God has done and who cares if they notice the person who orchestrated it? God has been glorified."

I just think if we take ourselves out of the equation, we won't be able to get the glory. And that is a very good thing.

Well, so that's all for my rambling. Peace!

What were you praying about?

I went to pick my brother up from his church, Church of the King, in Berkley, Michigan.

I saw my friend, the pastor of the church, Brad Leach there, and I met a lady who had 3 children- two girls and a boy. They had just gotten done with a "prayer walk" (I used to be curious about what that meant, and found out that it just means you walk while praying. Go figure). So, brad asks a girl, about 4 years old, what she was praying about.

She just shrugs and says, "I don't know, but I got really sweaty."

I could instantly picture her walking around kinda acting like she was praying. She was so determined, in this movie of her in my mind, to do the prayer walk, following whomever was in front of her and stomping as if she were upset and doing the actions her mom was doing and working up a sweat, that maybe she forgot why.

I do this often. I get so caught up in whatever action i'm doing that I often forget why I started doing it in the first place.

I'll get into a habit of reading my Bible before I go to bed because I realize the need to draw close to God through His word. I get really excited about it, and I love doing it. Then, 5 nights later, I dislike the very thought of it; I view it as a chore.

The problem isn't that I'm not spiritual enough; the problem is that I often get into a good habit and forget the end goal. I forget why I'm doing it.

The end goal of reading my Bible was to draw closer to God, but I, like the little girl, just forget why.

I'll get all sweaty doing it (that, my friend, is a metaphor), and maybe feel good about myself because hey, I read the Bible every night, and that's really spiritual. But in the end, am I really doing anything at all, or am I just working up a sweat?

I guess all of that to say that not only is it important to set goals and follow them, it's also important to remember why you set the goal in the first place. Constantly remind yourself of that. Write it down and tape it to your wall. Do whatever you can to make sure you don't just do it. Do it with a purpose in mind.

Reason for this blog

Yes, I decided to make a blog. I have never liked blogging much, unless it is used to keep me in touch with friends and family. However, I decided to start this blog not for you, but for myself.

I have a tendency to get lazy. I don't necessarily get lazy in life, but rather in my love for my God. I often will learn these great lessons about life or love or happiness or what God is really like, only to forget them.

That really sucks.

So, that's the real reason I have started this blog. So I don't forget.

And along the way, I hope anyone who reads this will feel energized by what I have learned.

I'll leave with one question. It is because of this question that I have made this blog. In fact, I've made many changes in my life as of late because of this question.

Why do you (yes, you the reader) become lazy in your love and desire for God? What can you change in your life that will help you remember God?

Ok, so it was two questions. Get over it.